My Plan

Today I had a to-do list and a plan. Apparently I forgot my almost nine-month-old has her own agenda.

My to-do list looked something like this:

• clean the house
• get visit taught
• bathe Ellie
• etc.

Then we decided to meet Steve for an early afternoon walk. My plan was this: go for a walk, feed Ellie, and she'll take a nice...long... two hour nap. It was valid. Walks always seem to tire her out. Just last week, we took a walk and she slept for 2 1/2 hours afterwards. So I have experienced her exhaustion stemming from walks on multiple occasions...

Ellie's agenda was to resist the nap for 45 minutes. Then nap for not quite 45 minutes. So much for getting the rest of the house cleaned while she napped.

Instead, once Ellie got up from her nap, I watched her for nearly an hour. I watched her roll around on the floor. I watched her figure out how to get close enough to the entertainment center to grab the handle on the drawer and practice pulling it in and out...in and out...in and out. She never tired. After briefly rolling away, she quickly returned and figured out how to pull that drawer in and out without the handle. Next she grabbed the handle and figured out how to drop it against the drawer to make the most noise. Fascinating! She was mesmerized.

Eventually she got herself good and stuck and I insisted we move on to another "activity". She grabbed hold of my fingers and we took a walk. We didn't make it far. Just across the floor was her car seat, diaper bag, and Steve's backpack. She instantly let go of my hands and grabbed on to her car seat with both hands. I watched as she concentrated on standing while holding on, her little tongue poking out of her mouth during intense concentration (just like my dad). I watched her figure out cause and effect: if she let go with both hands, she would likely fall. If she started to fall, all she had to do was grab on and she would usually stay up. I watched her build leg muscles by standing alone for an extended period of time; I didn't hold on to her. She only kept up by holding on to other things.

I watched her fall down, only to immediately pull herself back up. I heard her giggle as she got a hold of something new. I watched her concentration broken only when I yawned - somehow she's super tuned in to my yawns. I watched her cock her head towards the sliding doors when a dog barked outside and again when neighbors spoke outside the door. Otherwise it was silent as she worked and learned.

Dinner may be late. Ellie's bathe may have to wait. My bathroom may not get cleaned until tomorrow. But I am lucky enough to have taken an hour to simply watch my baby learn.

I don't want to miss this as I hurry and scurry to "be productive" or to keep my house spotless and my meals right on time. I want to remember what it felt like to slow down and watch what happens in Ellie's world.